Only fools believe that what they once felt, they will feel forever.
And we are all fools.
Youths fall madly in love only for a short while.
A new job energizes a woman until she realizes it's not perfect.
A man begins learning the piano and stops after a week.
Why?
Unless we learn to cultivate them, the love, excitement, or sense of mission that originally carried us dissipate.
You got the father title the moment your child entered your life. It came with an overwhelming but empowering blend of sweet emotions, responsibility, and anxiety.
Time passed, and the intoxicating feelings of the first weeks gave way to reality: being a parent comes with sacrifices. One day, you miss your sleep, the other your friends, your free time, or just a calm home.
Congratulations! You became a dad beyond the title.
On to the next level: being a good dad.
Dadding is a daily practice, and it's not only the many small things we need to do for our kids. It's also the inner work we must do to learn to accept sacrifices graciously.
By rekindling the flame of the early days, we can lighten the weight of the sacrifices and improve our behavior.
To put it another way, to be a good, happy dad, you must regularly remind yourself of your role, mission, and motivations.
Everybody is different when it comes to achieving that. Some people feel strengthened thinking about fatherhood as a duty, a responsibility we have to bring up the next generation. They may feel obligated towards society to raise decent future citizens.
To some, like me, it is delighting in my kids' goodness. I do it on my weekly run or a few seconds before falling asleep. I deliberately think about the good times we shared and how funny and loving they are.
Pause and think about your kids, then reaffirm your mission to yourself. It makes the whole parent's job much easier and sets you up to be a better dad.