Sophie, my four-year-old daughter, loves chess.

She has seen me play or do chess puzzles since her early days. There was always a chessboard on the kitchen table.

When she was two, we would sometimes sit facing each other on the floor, separated by a chessboard. I would let her grab the chess pieces and make funny noises and gestures to hint at how they move.

"Fffffff fffff does the bishop" while moving it quickly in the air following an imaginary diagonal.

I don't know if it taught her anything, but it sure made her interested.

Six months ago, she began learning and following the game's rules.

And now, the time has come to learn theory and practice.
If my daughter remains interested, she will play (and lose) many games and work on solving chess puzzles to learn tactics.

She says her goal is to defeat Magnus Carlsen.
It's going to suck a bit for a long while.

Like every parent, I'm tempted to praise and reward her whenever she finds the solution. I'm so happy for her.

But praising achievements only is a recipe for future suffering. It's not uncommon to fail at things, especially when undertaking endeavors that stretch us outside of our comfort zone.

Learning a new skill, playing a sport competitively, asking for a raise, taking on a new role, or looking for a new job—these endeavors make life interesting. They challenge us and help us grow.

If we place our happiness in our achievements, we run the risk of never being happy.

Since our goal as fathers is to raise happy kids, we should remember to give balanced praise and reward the effort.

Even when the effort doesn't reach the desired outcome.