... enough. Men don't hug their kids enough.
I remember this weird story my mum shared with me. When I was a baby, my father's mother got really upset because my dad was changing my diaper.
To her, this was something a dad did not do.
It was cultural and generational, and things have changed since then. Yet, many still associate toughness (an attribute often praised for a dad) with emotional minimalism.
Some men struggle to cry in front of their children. Some struggle to hug them. Most hug them but are way too quick to release.
My wife told me that people dressed up as Disney characters have been instructed never to be the first to end the hug of a kid. I find this a bit creepy, but recently, someone told me that it takes 30 seconds of hugging for the body to release chemicals that provide health benefits.
In my family, we sometimes say that "pour un vrai câlin, on compte jusqu'à vingt". It's French for "For a real hug, count to twenty," but it rhymes in the original language.
This ensures a proper hug, not a distracted one. Counting to twenty forces us to be present in what we are doing. It also helps young kids to learn to count. What's not to like?
Next time your kid comes to you for a hug, try not to be the one breaking it. See how long they want it to last; it might reveal something about their needs.