Some events in life anoint you with a mission.

You experience tragedy, luck, forgiveness, or grace, and you know that you won't be allowed to shut up about it. You have now inherited a responsibility, big or small, to help others or pay what you received forward.

Consider today's post, a PSA (Public Service Announcement), as part of my mission.

If you aren't already a dad, what you're about to read could spare you future suffering. If you are already blessed with kids, it might give you tremendous relief.

I remember many things from the birth of my first child. I remember the taxi speeding through the city like a getaway car, my sprint through the neverending hallways of the hospital while trying to find the labor room.

I remember how terrified I felt seeing my never-complaining wife in pain. I remember crying with relief when I saw this tiny human out and safe.

And plenty of other things that are burned in my memory.

But I also vividly remember holding my daughter in my arms for the first time in this labor room. I felt moved because I was holding a newborn, but I felt no connection whatsoever. Nothing. Nada. Rien.

It didn't feel that I was holding my flesh and my blood. That was scary, and as we walked back to our room, I felt overwhelmed with guilt.

What is wrong with me, I thought, that I can't fully rejoice as a dad holding his child? Will I ever feel like a dad?

Of course, the exhaustion didn't make it any easier. Neither did the stressful medical conditions (my daughter was born over a month early).

Some fathers experience an immediate connection to their baby. But not me; bonding took time.

The feeling of connection didn't happen magically after that. It took months of living together, interacting with my daughter, and ultimately relaxing to realize she was my child.

I have since learned that this experience of not feeling connected to your child right away is not as uncommon as one might think. It can happen to either of the two parents or even both.

Education and care for future dads are insufficient in that regard. You just read the short, written form of the information I've been trying to spread for the past three years.

Bonding with a child isn't automatic. Whether you share some DNA or not, relationship-building needs time to happen. I hope that knowing this, you'll enjoy the process of getting to know your kid more.

It certainly helped me the second time around; I was more relaxed about it.

If you know a future dad, please forward this note to them.